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Short Film Fundraiser: Bachelor Auction

August 13, 2017

Don’t miss this fundraiser with a difference! All proceeds go to the pickup shoot to complete my first short film/mini-webseries, Keep Me In Mind.

KMIM Bachelor Auction Poster

 

Check out our Facebook page to meet our bachelors!

 

Limericks

August 11, 2017
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I’m encouraging my class to develop their skills creating  consistent metre and rhythm in poetry. We started with one of the simplest poetic forms – the limerick.  
I confined myself to suburbs in my home town of Melbourne. 

A certain composer from Coburg
Desired to see a real iceberg.
She sailed the Atlantic
Till she was so frantic
Her concertos resembled Schoenberg.

A certain young lady from Brunswick
Made puns till her husband was pun-sick
He cried, “Please desist
Or you’ll no more be kissed
For this knot we have tied I will unpick.”

 

 

 

 

 

New VODville sketch by me!

August 10, 2017

The first sketch I’ve both written and directed for VODville is out now.

If you’ve ever been sat next to a manspreader on the tram/bus/train, seething with irritation as your arse-cheek slid off the seat, you’ll love this.

I’m a sketch comedy writer now!

June 22, 2017

I’ve recently started writing material for comedy sketch channel VODville, created by Maddy Butler. 

See my debut here, catch up on all VODville’s excellent previous sketches at
http://vodville.tv/ and keep checking their Facebook page  for more comedy gold –  a
 new sketch every fortnight! 
Still_Adopt a Tiger_VODville

Michaelle Muir and Meerna Yousif in ‘Adopt a Tiger’ by Mileta Rien

Shadow Selves

June 14, 2017
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Today I returned to an old favourite text, Susan Wooldridge Goldsmith’s inspirational poemcrazy:

 

The psychologist Carl Jung suggested that when we’re about seven we separate from and then bury or repress whatever parts of us don’t seem to be acceptable in the world around us. According to Jung, these unacceptable parts become our shadow … To become more fully who we are, it’s a good idea to invite our shadow to speak now and then.

Find a quiet place, sit down, shut your eyes and ask your shadow to appear … Begin a conversation with your shadow. If you’re willing, invite him or her to become part of your life … Ask what your shadow needs from you to have a positive role in your world. Where can you meet? What would your shadow like you to do together? … Let your shadow write a poem.

My reason for choosing this exercise was that my own ‘shadow’ visited me the previous morning; while I lay in bed still half-dreaming a character sprang fully-formed into my mind. I got up and wrote page after page about her.

The experience reminded me of another classic inspirational book, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Like Wooldridge, Cameron advocates writing as a  ‘pathway to a strong and clear sense of self’. Here she describes her daily practice of ‘morning pages’, three pages of stream-of-conscious journal-writing  – a practice which I’ve recently taken up again after a long lag: 

Living in a small adobe house … I sat at the wooden table looking north to Taos mountain and I wrote … the mountain dominated my view and my morning pages as well. What did it – or anything – mean? I asked page after page, morning after morning. No answer. And then, one wet morning, a character named Johnny came strolling into my pages. Without planning to, I was writing a novel. The morning pages had shown me a way.

I don’t know whether I’ll use my new character in a novel, or anywhere else, but today during my class I wrote a poem that distills her essence. 

 

my shadow knows

My shadow sings
like Patti Smith in a gritty
thrash-pop band. Like me,
she’s a brunette, but she
bleaches her choppy bob
platinum, then lets the dark
roots grow. She eats bloody
steaks, smokes Marlboro
Reds and drinks Wild Turkey.

My shadow has a tattoo of an eagle
on her right shoulder. She loves
rollercoasters and dreams
of one day
trying
skydiving.

My shadow drives a cherry
1984 Holden Commodore.
She can read a map
and change a tyre.
She never went to uni
but she can read between
the city streets.

She never needs
to fill a silence
with nervous chatter.
Instead she leans back
in her chair, blowing smoke rings, and lets
people come to her. My shadow knows
how to walk in stilleto boots
without stumbling. She knows
how to ask right out
for what she wants
without apology
and straightaway
get it.

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

Purplicious!

June 4, 2017

Recently I took my paint swatches into class again. It’s always a popular exercise. I recommend going into your local hardware store and starting your own collection, as it’s almost impossible not to be inspired by the creative colour names.  

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Purplicious is my my favourite flavour of bubblegum, mostly because of the pretty wrapper. I’ve been collecting them for ages. When I have enough I’m gonna wallpaper my room with them. I haven’t told Mum, but I’ve already started gluing them to the wall, in the far corner behind my bedside table.

Whenever we go to the shops I ask her for another packet of Purplicious gum.
“You haven’t finished the last packet,” she says today in Kmart.
“Pleeease?”
“No.”
“But I’ve only got one piece left.”
“Simone, I said no. You’ll rot your teeth will that stuff.”
Kmart has to be the most boring shop in the world. Mum makes me wait for ages while she tries on bras. I used to kill time in the toy section but I’m too big now and I’d be embarrassed if anyone from school saw me there. Instead I head to the makeup section and muck around with the testers while a security guard gives me the evil eye. There’s an greeny-yellow eyeshadow I really like called Cintrino, but Mum won’t buy if for me because she says I’m still too young for makeup. I cover my eyelids with it, then go all the way to my eyebrows. I look older, like maybe fifteen or sixteen. I check out the lipsticks and find a black one. Black lipstick. Awesome. Now I look like an alien, a teenage alien. I’m just about to wipe it all off again when Mum comes out an catches me.
I wait for her to go ballistic, but instead she just kind of crumples. “What am I going to do with you?” she sighs, and gets a tissue out of her bag, spits on it and starts scrubbing my face, pressing down hard.
“Ow,” I say, but I say it softly. This is a hundred times more embarrassing than being seen in the toy section.
“Don’t you know how many germs there are in those testers?” she says.
I want to point out that there are probably at least that many germs in the saliva she’s rubbing all over my face, but I’m not gonna push my luck.

She’s quiet on the drive home. It’s not her dormant-volcano quiet, when she stews over something I’ve done and plans my punishment. It’s more like the quiet just after Dad left, when she went around doing all her regular things but in this kind of trance, and if I spoke she’d blink and ask me to repeat it. I never knew what to do then and I still don’t, and I feel bad that I’ve tipped her back into sleepwalker mode but I don’t want to make things worse so I just lay low.
To cheer myself up I think about the secret corner of my room with the purplicious bubblegum-wrapper wallpaper. I know if I asked Mum for permission she’d say no, so what I’m gonna do is, when I’ve covered the space behind my bedside table and my bed I’m going to show her how pretty it is, and then maybe she’ll let me finish the wall. I just want one thing to be all bright and shiny, like the whole world used to be when I was younger and we were all together.

Keep Me In Mind needs you!

March 29, 2017

As you may know, I’m making a short film: Keep Me In Mind: a comedy about lost love, second chances and minor accidents, starring Joel Famularo , Jeni Bezuidenhout and Lara Deam.

We shot 90% of it late last year, but recently I’ve been planning a pickup shoot, to get the scenes and shots we need to complete the film.

I now realise it was a mistake to schedule a shoot without first securing finances. Put it down to inexperience – this is my first time doing any of this.

Our first shoot was funded by crowdsourcing, and by a launch party for a trailer we made prior to the film shoot proper:

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I was counting on a second wave of donors to our crowdfunding campaign, as people were extremely generous the first time around. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened. So I’ve made the decision to postpone the pickup shoot for the time being.

Of course, this isn’t the end of the story. From now on, for as long as it takes, I’ll be exploring every avenue to find the remaining $2,500 we need to complete the film.

If you would like to help get this show back on the road, please contribute here, and check out our donation rewards while you’re there. If you can’t afford to chip in, please check out our Facebook page and share the link.

Thank you.